


i don't have you, and there's nothing left

by hoywfiction



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Basically Zayn telling the boys he's leaving the band, Established Zayn Malik/Liam Payne, Hurt No Comfort, Liam-centric, M/M, Minor Violence, Zayn and Liam have something going on, Zayn-centric, meaning Louis tries punching Zayn in the face, whether they're together or not you decide, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-27 22:42:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8420002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoywfiction/pseuds/hoywfiction
Summary: Zayn tells the boys that he's leaving the band, and it doesn't go very well. It doesn't go well at all.





	

It was the strangest feeling, whatever it was Liam was experiencing that night. He wasn't sure he could put a name to it even if he tried. Regret? No, not exactly. Confusion? Probably a little bit of that somewhere in the mixture. Anger? No... No, never that, not towards him. Absolute heartbreak? Now he was getting on the right track.

You see, this was a very significant night for all five of the boys. For Harry and Niall, it was the night that their big brother left them. For Louis, it was the night that he could no longer find his best friend, his partner in crime, in the person he thought he would find it in. For Zayn, it was the night that he was going to leave behind everything he'd come to know. For Liam... It was the night that he lost everything. This was the night that Zayn announced that he was leaving One Direction.

Liam, Louis, Harry and Niall were all sat down on the sofas in Zayn and Liam's shared suite, staring up at their bandmate with blank expressions. After a moment Louis' mouth began to drop open a little bit, and Harry looked like maybe there were some tears starting to well up in his eyes, but everyone remained silent. The news hit like a bomb did; so suddenly that everyone was not even sure what just happened.

"You're..." It was Louis who spoke first, eyes trained on the nervous boy stood in front of them, unblinking. "You're leaving? Just like that?"

Zayn swallowed, his gaze focused awkwardly on the floor near his toes, fidgeting with his hands. When he repeated the words back—"Just like that"—they sounded dry and emotionless.

"Please don't," came a choked voice, one Liam knew was Harry's even though he was still gaping at his boyfriend. He hardly even registered Harry's pleas as he continued speaking, because he was trying to let all this sink in. Zayn was... leaving? Going? Gone for good, not coming back? In the middle of the tour? Why hadn't he said anything about this before? He tuned back into the world of the living just long enough to catch the end of what Harry was sobbing out, the boy leaned forward in his seat as much as he possibly could be and a hand wrapped gently around Zayn's wrist. "We can figure it out, whatever it is we can—"

"There's nothing _to_ figure out, Harry," Zayn cut him off, in the same tinged-with-sadness monotone as before, shrugging away his hand. "I'm leaving. I'm sorry..."

Niall's watery, forced laugh was the most heart shattering part of all of it. "This is a prank, right? You're joking?"

But the hint of knowing in his voice was too strong; this wasn't a prank and that was something he knew. The blonde shook his head, his eyes refusing to meet anyone else's, biting at the skin on his bottom lip. Liam tried to put a hand on his arm to comfort him but he completely pulled away. That level of bitterness coming from the younger lad was new all on its own.

"So this break. It isn't going to be a break, is it?" Louis knew exactly how this was going to be playing out. They would tell the fans that Zayn was taking a break and going home, just as the boys had thought up until now, but then Zayn wouldn't come back. That would simply be the end, and there would be no goodbye. By the look on his face, the oldest of them really didn't seem too happy about it. "You're really just going to abandon everyone like that?"

Maybe it was the cold resentment in Louis' voice that caused Zayn to snap out of his trance-like state and get defensive. No matter what it was, Liam could tell that this was about to turn into a screaming match, and he felt too weak to intervene. "I'm not _abandoning_ anybody!"

"Let's go. Come on, we're going," Niall said as Louis sprang up to his feet, and even though he was shorter than Zayn seeing him get in his space like he was appeared intimidating.

"Louis, _stop_ ," Harry pleaded miserably, voice breaking at the end. And Liam got up, took his hand, pulled him off the sofa as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and continued protesting Louis' actions weakly. Liam was breaking, falling apart, he couldn't remember if he was even alive right now, but his job was still to protect his boys no matter how he was feeling himself. Now wasn't any different.

"So we don't mean fucking anything to you then? We aren't anybody to you?" Louis growled, and all the other boys knew that this whole thing was a second away from exploding. Liam handed Harry over to Niall, who was looking anywhere aside from his fighting bandmates but still understood, hugging the taller boy close to him.

"When the hell did I say that?" Zayn hissed in response, usually serene brown eyes lit with some sort of fire. The heat of his stare wasn't even directed towards Liam and yet he felt it burning him, scorching something inside his chest in the most uncomfortable of ways.

"Boys, stop this." It was the first thing Liam managed to say since Zayn had said he was going, but still it went ignored.

" _YOU DIDN'T FUCKING NEED TO!_ " And there it was, and though they were all anticipating it the sudden volume of Louis' voice threw them all off, including Zayn. Or maybe that was Louis shoving him that threw him off.

" _WELL WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW, TOMLINSON? YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT SO SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!_ " Zayn shoved back just a little harder, nearly causing Louis to stumble over the coffee table, and Liam took a step towards them.

"Zayn! Louis!" he snapped loudly, trying to get their attention, but he'd lost them.

" _ZAYN MALIK'S TOO GOOD FOR US, ZAYN MALIK IS BETTER THAN IS. THAT'S WHAT IT IS ISN'T IT? WELL FUCK YOU, YOU AREN'T SHIT!_ " This time Louis countered by hitting him in the chest, and though Zayn didn't flinch much it was easy to hear the catch in his breath at the impact of it. Liam stepped almost in the middle of them, not liking at all where this was going.

"Louis, _enough_ ," he said sternly, glaring at the older boy, but he didn't even seem to notice that Liam existed at all.

" _SAYS YOU! SAYS FUCKING YOU!_ " Zayn practically punched Louis in the shoulder, only without the balling his fist part, instead just hitting him hard enough with the back of his hand that there would more than likely be a mark later on. It was like the words just weren't important after that; Louis launched at Zayn, fury in his entire being, trying to tackle him over. But of course Zayn used his size to his advantage, catching Louis around the waist and beginning to wail into his side. Not that Louis was the innocent victim of course, he was bringing his fists down on Zayn's back, shoulders, arms, anywhere he could really reach, both of them screaming in either pain or anger.

" _Please_ ," Liam said in a strangled tone, trying to pry Louis off of Zayn as he started trying to hit him in the face. He managed to do it, but hardly a second later Zayn closed the distance again and they were back at it. Liam changed his attempts to the black haired lad, wrapping one arm around him and using the other to push Louis away. "Babe, come on—"

"Get off me!" Zayn shouted, and Liam felt his heart fall out of his chest and onto the ground more than he felt the other boy reel his elbow back into his face. The other two froze with wide, shocked eyes, looking at Liam, who was doubled over slightly with his hands cupped over his left eye. All was silent, except for the sound of crying, which Liam assumed was Harry.

"Liam?" Louis asked quietly, taking a step closer to him, and as Liam took in a gasp of air he realised that he, Zayn and Louis were the only ones in the room. Niall and Harry must have gone out when things started to escalate. So the crying... He felt his whole body shaking, and his gasping breaths didn't stop, and he just felt everything and absolute numbness somehow at the same time. _He_ was the one crying, and he couldn't stop.

"Liam, I'm sorr—" Zayn began, laying a hand on his shoulder, but as soon as he felt the gentle touch he stumbled back and away from it. The look in Liam's tear-filled eyes when he looked up at Zayn was something so, so close to hatred that he felt a physical sting in his heart. The younger boy shook his head, still sobbing with a hand over his face, the other held out to keep Zayn away from him.

"Don't touch me," he choked out, shaking his head though keeping eye contact. "Don't touch me, Zayn."

His mouth parted in words he never said, in an apology he couldn't form on his tongue. Louis rushed over to Liam's side, grabbing for his wrist and saying they should look if he was bruised, but instead the boy wrapped his arms around his friend and began crying on his shoulder. And Zayn had done that, he thought as he watched the boy who was supposed to be in his arms breaking apart. He had done that to the boy he'd said he loved. And the words of comfort he should have been giving didn't come from his lips, but from Louis'. "It's okay, love. Liam— Liam, hey, it's alright. Let's go, okay? Let's go."

Despite the height difference, Liam seemed smaller as Louis led him away, his arm around his hips, worried blue eyes trained on him. And once they'd left Zayn alone in that suite that he was meant to be sharing, just he and his thoughts, he realised he didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve this life, he didn't deserve his friends, and he sure as hell didn't deserve Liam. He didn't deserve a mother who forced him to follow his dreams by making him wake up to go to an audition. He didn't deserve to have a good enough singing voice to get him through the X Factor. He didn't deserve to be put into a band that would become the biggest one on the planet. He didn't deserve fans, and he didn't deserve fame. He didn't deserve anything at all.

Next he knew he was crying too, curled up on the sofa where he'd managed to break four hearts all at once only an hour ago.


End file.
